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Jour 140: What is the deal with weddings?


Brigitte Bardot is like, "Yeah, I'm in the middle of my wedding, but why should that mean I can't have a quick smoke and catch up on the mid-1960s celeb gossip."

So, I may have mentioned once or twice that I'm thoroughly obsessed with TLC's Say Yes to the Dress. Part of it is because Monte and Lori are geniuses at customer service, and part of it is how Monte and Lori are able to solve everyone's emotional problems by providing the perfect dress. (And part of it is how, even when other consultants are in charge of appointments, Lori and/or Monte have to run in to take over the appointment and save the day).

Monte and Lori: saving the world, one crazy-ass dress at a time

Part of it is just that the wedding industry mystifies me. Seeing what wedding dresses women want shows so much about their personality - and so many of the women choose dresses that are SO UGLY. It's also mystifying how one dress can make them break down crying because they feel so fat, and then a practically identical dress can make them cry because they feel so beautiful.

And also? How they all can't decide on anything without their mother/evil bridesmaid BFF's approval? Maybe it's just me, but I haven't let anyone tell me what to wear since I was like 3. Seriously, ask my Mom. I would never let anyone tell me what to wear, ever. (One of the many reasons I did not make a very good Brownie)

Because what 6-year-old doesn't want to wear a brown shirtdress with an orange neckerchief?
Oh wait, no 6-year-old in the world wants to wear that.

Anyway, so much about current wedding "tradition" has been made up in the last 100 years. Diamond engagement rings? Invented by de Beers to help flagging sales. Strapless princess dresses? A secret conspiracy by dressmakers because making sleeves is too time-consuming.

My feelings on weddings are no great secret: the thriftier, the better! Here are some posts I've written in the past in praise of thrifty weddings, such as my mother's $73.34 wedding, or Kate Middleton's surprisingly thrifty wedding [And she totally wore a dress with sleeves! Representing the anti-strapless contingent!]. Or for what not to do, check out my audit of Kim Kardashian's wedding (and subsequent divorce).

What do you guys think about the wedding industry? Is it all just a weird, made-up thing meant to bankrupt people and ruin friendships and make single people feel tragic and lonely? Were weddings invented by the romantic comedy industry to make finales for every romantic comedy ever made, ever?

Where would Julia Roberts, Katherine Heigl, Meg Ryan, Sandra Bullock, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, or Reese Witherspoon be without those big wedding movie scenes?

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