Jour 87: Another day in the life of an accidental shoplifter
I'm glad to report that my recent foray into accidental larceny hasn't turned into a full-fledged Lindsay Lohan-style shoplifting spree. I haven't lost sight of my morals and am happy to let you know that it's been more than 24 hours since I last (inadvertently) stole anything.
Tomorrow's the day I make amends. My plan is to go back to the store (TOMATOES AND OATS IN MY BAG), hang around like a normal shopper, and then casually pull the items out of my bag to pay for them. I'll probably need to pick up a few other things, so that my unshoplifting looks as casual as possible - like when men on TV sitcoms buy a bunch of other groceries to the clerk doesn't notice they're buying condoms.
[This is so not true. I was a cashier and I was always silently judging the items people used to purchase. All you single men buying the ready-cooked chicken dinner with the potato wedges? Learn to cook, oh my God.]
So anyway. I got away with this one slight theft incident BUT am very eager to make amends and move on with my life, in the manner of The New Lindsay Lohan, but minus the plastic surgery and community service.