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Jour 49: Shopping Detox does the sex fair


Oh my!

So, remember how I got a pin-up girl photo taken by the fabulous Chanda from Well, as a thank-you, she sent me free tickets to the Naughty And Nice Taboo Sex Show Trade Fair!

If you know me at all, you may realize this is highly not my scene. I mean, I'm all for being liberated and pole dancing and Dan Savage and whatnot, but my experience with BDSM has been mainly in watching episodes of CSI where things go horribly awry.

Like every young lady in the early 2000s, I wanted to be Lady Heather when I grew up.
Look at her gorgeous hair!

The best way to do something outside of your comfort zone is to bring a friend (or to pretend like it's a challenge on The Amazing Race), and so I brought in an Adjunct Frugal Advisor (my regular Frugal Advisor being previous occupied) and set out to the faire.

What I learned today at the sex faire:

Lady Gaga would have fit in pretty well at the Sex Faire.
She wouldn't have stood out as much as I did, though (i.e. I was dressed normally)

- The planners very cannily had the least-uncomfortable booths right by the entrance, so you can get comfy before they bring out the superkink stuff. Like, the first few booths were for renaissance wench clothes, spas selling nail polish, and oh yes, a place selling hair appliances.

- ... Remember my post yesterday about the waving iron vs. the hot rollers? Here is a third option: Curling Wand. I was helpless to resist and Adjunct Frugal Advisor was powerless to stop me. It's not easy being my Frugal Advisor, especially when it's a good deal. Because it was a trade show, I got 30% off and it's a good quality brand (better than the $40 ones from the drugstore) and... OK, totally not frugal. SO ANYWAY!!

Curling wands are the new coolest hair curling accessory! And Lauren Conrad uses one. So.

- Pole dancing is incredibly athletic and acrobatic. There were instructors there from the local pole dancing exercise school and OMFG it was like some Cirque de Soleil stuff happening there. Twisty upside down human inchworm stuff where at some points they were suspended not from their arms and legs but...  maybe their abs? These were some muscular women. I wonder if I can scam a way to get a free pole dancing class, hmm...

Seriously, this uses more abdominal, arm, leg, and overall strength than I have ever possessed.
Golf claps for these ladies.

- Fire play is not the same as like, fire-eating. It's gently rubbing a small torch onto someone's bare skin, and somehow this doesn't hurt the other person. It also has something to do with BDSM. And that is where I officially was completely out of my comfort zone because THAT IS SCARY. But people like it, so, good for them.

- Corsets make all women look 100% sexier, and also help with your posture. You need to get fitted for the corset, though, for various lengths of waist and body shape. One size does not fit all. (*Note, I did not buy one, though Adjunct Frugal Advisor tried on a full steampunk ensemble and she looked totally amazing. Frugally, she did not buy the outfit, but left to think about it some more) The company selling outfits was Felix & Kitty, if you need a sexy ensemble to wear to the Renaissance Faire or whatevs.

I kinda want to have some kind of anime-fetish steampunk outfit now.
Don't know where I'd wear it, exactly, but how cool is this corset look??

- A good side business for people who do children's face painting, is to do adult body painting.

- Vibrators look very odd and disembodied (if eye-catching) when standing up on a table, rotating about.

- You can wash Pyrex vibrators in your dishwasher, just like Pyrex dishes.


Pyrex: More than just dishware!

- It is legal to strip in Saskatchewan, but only in a private residence and where there isn't alcohol being sold. So, after-hours in a bar is also OK. Also, fantastically, one of the strippers was named Temperance. That is the perfect Saskatoon stripper name.

- I think that Little J and her band will fit in just fine here when they visit in March.

- Now, off to go practice curling my hair!

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