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Day 349: Law & Order: Special Frugal Unit

Jesse L. Martin and Jerry Orbach only briefly starred together as detectives.
These were the BEST EPISODES EVER, with the combined Broadway-trained handsome men teaming up to say sarcastic things and catch criminals and run doen the streets together.


So, I've been powering through DVDs of Law & Order (original recipe) because IT'S THE BEST SHOW EVER, OF ALL TIME. (And someone I love recently bought the entire 20-season box set hello!!)

As such, I have a few frugal tips that I've picked up after watching all of seasons 18, 19 and 20 in the past short while.

1) Never represent yourself as a lawyer. This may seem like the most frugal option (i.e. no lawyer fees) but people who represent themselves are always insane and are also always convicted. Even if they, themselves, are lawyers.

The DA's office will smack a bitch if they sense you're trying to lie to them.
Jack McCoy, badass for the ages.

2) Even if you get a legal aid lawyer, it will tend to be a very expensive lawyer working pro bono, so it's like the cheaper version of hiring a high-priced attorney. Also: if you're arrested connected to any sort of gang activity, the gang lawyer will step in to replace your legal aid attorney. This lawyer will also be very unscrupulous, so that's not necessarily the best idea. Stick with legal aid, whenever possible.

3) Take the first plea bargain OH MY GOD SERIOUSLY. People get cocky and don't take the first deal offered by the DAs (i.e. 10 years in jail) and this invariably leads to the trial going totally against their best interests and they wind up begging to get the deal again - but it's too late. Just take it the first time, FOR REALS.

If you see that Michael Cutter is the prosecutor in your case, just plead guilty.
Trust me. He makes Jack McCoy look like a pushover.

4) Law & Order, the show, also saves money by re-hiring actors several times to play different people. For instance, before he was beloved detective Lenny Briscoe, Jerry Orbach played a defence attorney. Anna Chlumsky (my childhood hero from My Girl) showed up twice as an adult, in two separate episodes (note: my other childhood hero, Gaby Hoffman, also appeared as an adult - it's like Law & Order: Grown Up Child Stars Who Aren't Insane Unit) (CHUNK CHUNK!)

5) If you're arguing with someone about a business deal - don't kill them about it. You may feel like they owe you money (and maybe they do!) but you're gonna get caught and sent to jail so what's the point? Just suck it up, take it as a life lesson, and get on with your life.

Actually, you know what? If you are so upset you're going to kill the person who screwed you over, you'll probably wind up killing some innocent bystander (likely a sweet little kid) and the guy who stole your money will get away with it anyway. Basically - just don't kill anyone, ever. It's not the frugal, or sensible, or morally responsible thing to do.

Elliot Stabler, SVU detective and total badass.
(I had to put this picture up for Carla, who, as I recall, is quite the fan)


~Carla~ said...

Mmmm... I sure do!! When I started reading ths post I was thinking about what to post about the ever so scrumptious Stabler! lol! Gotta give credit where credit is due and all that... ;) Thans for the eye candy!! lol!

Crystal said...

I noticed the reuse of the same actors too! And I agree on Jesse L. Martin and Jerry Orbach being the best partners ever! I learned that if I ever kill someone I know, I should make sure the body is never found, lol.

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