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Day 306: The Kardashian Divorce Frugality Audit


The twice-divorced Ms. Kardashian, dressed like her possible nuptial role-model,
Elizabeth "married 8 times to 7 different men!" Taylor

So.... remember about 72 days ago, Kim Kardashian married that guy who looks like Taylor Lautner, but taller? And I gave them a fairly poor score on their wedding frugality audit? (And I had previously given their engagement a failing grade).

Well, so today it was announced that they're divorcing. Aside from all the other stuff (which I will get into, BELIEVE YOU ME), I find it mostly obnoxious because of how the K's had hyped the wedding like it was America's version of the royal wedding. Honey, no. I'm no American, but I'm pretty sure that your version of the royal wedding would be TASTEFUL and involve GIVING GIFTS TO CHARITY and TWO ADORABLE PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH OTHER, rather than glitter mini-ponies and crystal-encrusted crosses and three dress changes.

Member how ADORABLE THESE TWO ARE?
He's fixing the drawstring on her hoodie! I LOVE THEM

Anyway. Here's the deal (from what I can glean from today's over-excited Kardashian articles on teh internets):

1) There is a rumour that Kim's contact with the E! channel insisted that she get married before she's 31, so she had to plug in whoever she was dating at the moment, because she was contractually obligated to marry somebody.

2) Apparently they split up because Mr. Kim wanted her to move with him to Minnesota, but she wanted to stay in L.A.

3) And I guess they didn't think to talk about that before they got married? Well, they were only dating 6 months beforehand.

Kim and Mr. Kim in happier days.
Wait, they don't look that happy here. Did they have any happy days?

4) The K family are saying it's because Mr. Kim was using Kim for fame. And she didn't notice it until now? 72 days is all it takes to notice that?

5) And now apparently she might be getting back together with her ex, Reggie Bush?

6) They had a pre-nup, so I guess Kim gets custody of the mini-ponies and all of their thousands of dollars' worth of cutlery and glass vases that were on their wedding registry. (*Note: Wills and Kate asked for charity donations, in lieu of gifts, because THEY ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE)

SO ADORABLE! Also, I want her boots. And her jeans. And her bag.
... And her hair.

7) Since their wedding cost $10 million, that makes about $138,888 per day of married life.

8) People are holding a vigil outside of one of the K's stores in NYC. Yes, for reals.

9) The only good things to come out of this whole huge, money-wasting thing are:

a) HuffPost's infographic of the shortest-lived celebrity weddings ever (Rudolph Valentino was married for 6 hours!)
b) This tweet by George Takei


(Thx to the fine folks of Fashionable People Questionable Things, who brought this to my attention today via FB. What will become of the glitter miniponies??)

5 comments:

My Thirty Spot said...

This is awesome! Love this post. Love Will and Kate even more!

My money, my life said...

BuckHollywood on youtube made an EXCELLENT video about the divorce. Buck basically called Kim an a**hole, saying that the whole thing was fake, for publicity and money, and that Kris was in on it. He also made a good point about all the Kim fans who belived in the wedding and wasted $ on gifts for her. I thought it was Kim's Kim irresponsible, attention-craving nature that led to the quicky wedding/divorce, but the more I think of it, the more I'm convinced that it may be a totally fake "show", and that both Kim and Kris are in on it. If so, shame on Kim, and I really think media should stop feeding this deranged obsession with her and her whole family!

Aimerss (Amy) said...

Wills & Kate = BEYOND
Kim & Kris = Be-YAWN-d

I feel lame for wasting hours of my life watching the K-parade. Never again. There is always an America's Next Top model re-run to choose over them any ways! :o)

~Carla~ said...

Ok, serious question, who in the hell is Kim?! Like I know she has a tv show, but WHAT has she done to earn this "fame"?! Anything good for humanity? Or just because she has $$$ or something?

Annabelle said...

@Carla - she first got in the public eye for being friends with Paris Hilton. Then she parlayed a leaked sex tape into a Playboy spread and... somewhere along the line, Ryan Seacrest decided to feature her & her family in a reality show. And now she makes perfume and other things, I think. But mainly just famous-for-being-famous.

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