|If only Dr. Mike were here to help me out with her experimental, frontier-style of medicine.|
Or Sully. Sully could help too.
Yeah, forget Dr. Mike. Bring on Sully!
You guys, I always get the weirdest sicknesses. For instance, when I was a teen, instead of a normal cold (runny nose, sneezing, etc.) I would instead just get one swollen tonsil. Which was annoying, but not that bad, really. Or there was the time that I felt totally fine, yet my ears were so plugged up I had to start taking cold medication in order to communicate properly (this was exacerbated by having just landed in an airplane).
And now, the latest stage of my shopping-fast-induced-disease is that my tonsils are so swollen and sore that I can no longer eat solid food. I discovered this today at lunch, when I went to eat my pasta salad. Like, if you can't swallow noodles well-lubricated with tzaziki and feta cheese? You've got a problem.
|- I Can Haz Cheezburger|
Happily, I have lots of cold-weather yummy things around the house, such as banana pudding pops, popsicles, and ice cream. So I'll just keep eating like a kid who just had their tonsils out, until this all clears up.
*Note: am not going to have my tonsils taken out, as that is unnecessary and, when I was a kid, I named them. True story. The one that always swells up is called Dick**
**IMPORTANT SUB-NOTE: I was an innocent little kid who didn't know about other slang uses for the word "Dick," so it's not like some kind of weird euphemism or anything. Get yer minds out of the gutter, people!
|Don Draper's real name is really Dick, so it's actually a normal name, you guys.|
I was just a kid who watched a lot of old movies and didn't think it was weird to name my tonsil "Dick." OK??
Fine. I'll call it Richard from now on.
All that being said, I wasn't tempted to buy anything today! Maybe because I'm so distracted with the novelty of this illness (the other thing about me is that I hardly ever get sick - I think it's my mutant, superpowered DNA). Anyway, even if I wanted to buy groceries, all I'd buy would be pudding and/or popsicles - both of which I have.
SPENDING FAST REPORT CARD
Day 1 - $0! (Sunday, nothing to buy anyway)
Day 2 - $0! (sick day, stayed at home)
Day 3 - $0! (can't eat solid food, sustaining on diet of pudding pops and popsicles)
Maybe one day I'll try a shopping fast when I'm not being treated to food for my birthday or suffering from a throat-related disease and hence can't eat solid food. Like, on a normal week, it would probably be lots harder.
But for today? Pas de probleme!